Priorities

Here I am again, humbling myself to whoever is out there reading my posts (all 1 of you!). I have realized that the ultimate failure in my life is that of prioritizing.  Funny, this is exactly the issue I deal with...okay harp on...my employees most about.  At work, I am a time-management genius, efficient to a fault.  However, at home...not so much.  In my desire (okay, desperation) to be a SAHM, I have all but neglected my role as keeper of the home in order to punish my husband for not allowing me this role I so desire. There...I said it. Wrong, distorted, passive-aggressive...but sadly true.

I will be working hard over the next few weeks, months, years, decades....okay lifetime, to re-prioritize and re-focus my life.  And I will start by focusing upward...to my Heavenly Father.

New Beginnings

So, I have been off this week, of work, that is. There have been some major changes in our lives recently. I have left the company I have worked at for 10 years to pursue a new career opportunity and I start my new job on Monday. I always thought I would leave to stay at home, but that is not the plan God seems to have for us right now. God has provided an amazing opportunity for me to work at a new company while Rick completes his education and is able to focus on school full time.

Sometimes we want to be something so desperately, in my case a "homemaker extraordinaire", that we fail to see and utilize the talents God has gifted us with. I have come to the realization that I may not be the best seamstress, housekeeper, organizer, chef, gardener, crafter, etc. (okay, some of these things I may not be at all!), but my calling may be to minister and spread God's word in the workplace right now.

I pray that I will find renewed focus on the things I can do well at home, raising my children, cooking, cleaning, some organizing, as well as things I need to do to strengthen my spiritual walk, quiet time, prayer, and devotions with my family. I also pray that I will continue to allow my husband to lead our family, even though we are currently in unconventional roles in this season of life.

Back Again!

Just a brief post to let my few faithful followers know that I have not dropped off the face of the earth. I will begin more frequent posting as God works in our lives in a spectacular way. Updates to come!!!!

Setting the Example of Discipline

I have come to realize, of late, that I am failing in a very important area of parenting-discipline. Not the discipline you typically think of with children, that being reprimanding for ill behavior; but discipline in my own life. Discipline of finances, of words, of scheduling, of housework, etc.

I lack discipline in many areas of my life. I blame it on the different seasons we all go through...it's summer-the kids are out of school, I am traveling more for work, it's the holidays...and so on and so on. The truth is, that it is so important to model discipline in life to our children so that during these seasons of change, they see that some things are constant.

I have determined that a new approach is needed...a "less is more". Cutting back on the "things" in life-clothes, cable, cell phones, etc.-and doing without for a time. Then slowly adding back in what is truly necessary and appropriate to our lives. I believe that a good way to successfully increase the discipline in my life is to reduce the amount of "stuff" I have to manage. Once I can manage a small amount, then I can slowly increase if necessary.

Transparency

So you think you had to keep this up

all the work that you do.

So we think that you're good

and you can't believe it's not enough.

All the walls you built up

are just glass on the outside.

-"This is Where the Healing Begins", 10th Avenue North

Perception has always been very important in my life. Growing up, it was always important to "put on a happy face", and "be on my best behavior". Don't get me wrong, I have wonderfully parents who love me and raised me well, but perhaps put too much value on outward appearance and taught me to guard my inner-person just a little too much.

We, as humans, have a self-preservation instinct that often prevents us from putting ourselves in vulnerable situations. This can be a good thing, like when your self-preservation instinct tells you not to step in front of a moving vehicle. But it also results in a certain lack of honesty and truthfulness about who we are and what we are about. Being honest about one's beliefs and feelings often results in vulnerability which is contrary to our self-preservation instinct.

But as Christians we are called to die to self, and we are called to a certain level of honest transparency in our thoughts, feelings, and actions. God has given us a beautiful gift in the family of believers, but we have to be open and honest to share and enjoy that gift. Sharing of ourselves is often scary and sometimes, but we cannot enjoy the gift God has given us in brothers an sisters in Christ, without some level of vulnerability. To get help with our problems, we have to be willing and able to acknowledge and share them with others. In turn, we also have to be willing to share of ourselves to help others.

The walls we build around our hearts to "protect" us only serve to prevent others from getting in...sometimes even Christ himself.

Little Moments

I have been reminded, lately, to remember to find joy in the little moments of life...

• Riding in the car with the windows down on a beautiful afternoon with my family listening to country music turned up loud.



• Being able to work from home when I have a sick child.



• Watching the kids play in the backyard while I wash dishes in the kitchen.



• Singing to my girls every night when they go to bed...and always getting an "encore" request! (Even when I am on the road, I call and sing!)



• Laying in bed listening to sound of my husband's breathing (okay...sometimes snoring, but we will go with breathing here!)



• Frozen custard with good friends on a Sunday afternoon.



• Waking up every day to the family and life God gave me.

It is so easy to get caught up in the daily "living" of life...grocery store trips, school, work, soccer practice, cooking, laundry, etc. But in those moments, I find my joy! My goal is to find something every day to be joyful about...some little moment that takes my breath away.

Things I Learned From My Mother

As I have grown older, becoming a wife and mother myself, I have realized what an amazing woman my Mother is. Although she may not think so, I have, over the years, gleaned a vast amount of knowledge of what it is to be a wife, mother, and woman of God from her (although the practical application of this knowledge continues to be a challenge to me!).

She has taught me....

...to be genuine and sincere.

...to be a gracious hostess.

...that ladies never yell.

...to think of others first.

...that in a family, the marriage relationship and thus, my husband, must be my top priority, second only to my relationship with God.

...that vows spoken before God are not to be broken...period.

...that honesty is priceless.

...to love people, all people, regardless of race, creed, or religion.

...that life is not fair, and I should be thankful for that...otherwise God would not have sent His son to die for me.

There are so many things my Mom has taught me, and I am still learning from her, every day. If I had to choose one thing she has taught me that has helped me the most as a wife and mother it would be this...if I was a perfect person (or parent), I would not need a perfect God.

Thank you, Lord, for blessing me with this truly amazing woman. I am grateful every day that she made the CHOICE to have me in her life. Your hand in the path of my life is clear from the very beginning, that You chose her to be my Mother. -Amen