Sunday, November 28, 2010

More Updates

Unfortunately, we will not be welcoming our 4th child in July. Sadly, I miscarried last week. It has been a long hard road and we were very connected to this baby, especially after seeing him (or her) on the ultrasound.

I am, honestly, still struggling with God's purpose in all of this. I don't understand and sometimes the pain is practically unbearable.

I have found some refuge in the following verse:

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made unto God
and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:6-7
Thank you all for your prayers.

My Christmas List

'Tis the season for my children to start working on their Christmas wish lists. Usually it is full of the latest toys and electronics. Nerf guns and Nintendo games, dolls and dress up clothes. When I was a child I made a list every year, and always asked for a pony (I never got it, but I asked anyways!).

This year I have a list of my own.


  • grant me the ability to "do good and not evil all the days of my life" (Prov. 31:12)
  • let me "willingly work with my hands" and "bring my food from afar" (Prov. 31:13-14)
  • give me the ability to "rise while it is yet night, and provide food for my household" (Prov. 31:15)
  • let me be wise in my purchases, "she considers a field and buys it", and use them for Your glory and for the good of my family, "from her profits she plants a vineyard" (Prov. 31:16)
  • let me "gird myself with strength and strengthen my arms" (Prov. 31:17) for I am but weak and frail human, my strength is only in You
  • let my "lamp not go out by night" (Prov. 31:18), let me continue my work at home until it is complete
  • "extend my hand to the poor" (Prov 31:20), remind me that there are those in need and give me the ability to give what I can and do what I can
  • let me "not be afraid of snow" (Prov. 31:21), let me be wise in my preparations for winter, whether it be seasonal, spiritual, or financial
  • let my "clothing be of fine linen and purple" (Prov. 31:22), let me take pride in my appearance, my hygiene and care for myself as I am Your temple and my husband's
  • give me "strength and honor as my clothing" (Prov. 31:25)
  • let me "open my mouth with wisdom" and let the "law of kindness be on my tongue" (Prov. 31:26)
  • let me "watch the ways of my household" and not "eat the bread of idleness" (Prov. 31:27)

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Sweet Sounds

"I love you Lord
and I lift my voice
to worship you
oh my soul rejoice
Take joy, my King
in what You hear
let it be a sweet, sweet sound
in your ear."

Are my words a sweet sound in God's ear? All of them?

When I am frustrated with my kids...

When I am sarcastic with my husband...

When I gossip and backbite...

I know I need to work on thinking about everything that passes my lips, does God take joy in what He hears?

I have been having a bit of a "mouth" problem with my oldest, and it made me think of this song. He learns to speak from the way we (my husband and I) speak to each other and those around us. I have been trying to teach him to act as if Jesus were always with him, because He is! But am I a good model of that behavior-not always.

Lord, let my words and thoughts be sweet sounds to You always.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Recent Events

You may have noticed I have been quiet on the blog-front lately. We have a lot going on....okay, the big news is we are expecting our 4th child. However, this has not been an easy road these past 7 weeks. We thought I had miscarried a couple of weeks ago, but found out that our baby was still doing well at 6 weeks and 2 days on 11/11/2010.

Then, yesterday (11/16/10), I started heavy bleeding again (don't worry, I won't get too graphic). Short story of a LONG 24 hours is, 2 hospital visits, 3 ultrasounds, and 1 OB consult later...the baby is still there and they can determine a faint heartbeat. Unfortunately, there are some signs that miscarriage may still be forthcoming.

The bottom line in all of this, is that we are a firm believers that God is the creator of all life, and the decision as to whether this child will join our family here on earth on at home in heaven is entirely in His hands. We are blessed to have a good Christian physician overseeing our care and many dear friends praying that God's will be done.

Stay tuned for further updates...God bless!

Sunday, November 7, 2010


I have been thinking about my grandparents this evening, remembering what it was like to be a little girl and visit them on their farm (which was really just 10 wooded acres with a small house, a garage, and a large garden). Both of Gama and Papa have been gone for many years, but my memories of them are some of the fondest I have.

I remember walking into the house through the kitchen door (no one used the front door) into a tiny kitchen. My grandfather used to get onion bagels from O'Brienstein's in Richmond, he would cut them in half and load them up with butter then broil them for 5 minutes in the oven, they were incredible! And I remember hand cut fries (with potatoes from the garden, of course) and applesauce sandwiches that my Gama would make me.

From the kitchen into the living room, the 2 recliners flanking a console table on which always stood 2 glasses of sweet tea, Gama's in her Waterford crystal and Papa's in his big orange plastic cup. There was a TV and a teal velvet sofa (which I slept on when I visited until they built the bedroom addition). The heart of the room was the wood burning stove that kept the whole house cozy in the winter and even cooked most of a Christmas dinner one year when the transformer blew and there was no electricity. Then onto the formal dining room, which seemed out of place in the tiny farmhouse with it's huge Queen Anne table and chairs, the china cabinet filled with Waterford and fine china, and the crystal chandelier.

When I was very small, there was only 1 bedroom, with a 4-poster bed that my Gama slept in...Papa slept on an air mattress in the living room. There was 1 small bathroom with a stand up shower in which I used to bathe with Life Buoy soap after long walks in the woods to rid my body of any ticks or chiggers I may have brought back with me.

When I was older, they built an addition of 2 large bedrooms, one for each of them, and turned the old bedroom into a room for my Gama's home dialysis machine. There was a small twin bed in Gama's room for me when I came to visit. I loved her big 4-poster bed the best as it was covered in down quilts and pillows. She always kept a table-top Christmas tree up in her room covered in silver tinsel as well.

Papa's room was smaller, but had his HUGE oak roll-top desk and library of VHS tapes...there was no cable out in the country back then so I would watch hours of movies. I was introduced to John Wayne, Judy Garland, Bing Crosby, and many other classics during my time there.

I have so many fond memories of that place and the people there. I am sad to have lost them, but glad to have had the time I did with them.

Hug your kids, your parents, your grandparents, or grandchildren extra close tonight. I know I would if I could!

Friday, November 5, 2010

"Lead me with strong hands
stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
chasing dreams,
what about us?
Show me you're willing to fight
that I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home,
but I still feel alone"
-Sanctus Real-

I have been thinking on these lyrics lately and how they apply to my marriage and my husband. I have come to realize how amazingly blessed I am to have a husband who, although is not perfect, strives for perfection in Christ.

"Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect." -Matthew 5:48
Jesus teaches us to strive for the perfection of God, although we can never be perfect, He is calling us to be constantly maturing and growing.

As the wife of a godly man, I can trust in the Lord that, though Rick is not perfect and makes mistakes and has wrong attitudes, God has the ability to change these things and my husband is a man who heeds His instructions.

So in those moments that I am frustrated with Rick's anger or negative attitude (or when he leaves his shoes everywhere but where they belong), I know it is not my job to change him or chastise him, that is God's job. My job is to trust in God that He will make the necessary changes in me and my husband as we continue to seek His wisdom and guidance.