Tuesday, May 19, 2009

New Goals


Well, it's been a few days since I have written. I pretty much met my goals last week, save the exercise goal. I did not eat fast food, had less than 1 diet soda per day, definitely drank plenty of water. I have also read my Bible at least once a day if not more and have done a devotional at least every other day.

So, time for new goals. This week I am focusing on being a more worthy woman of God. I want to be a shining example of His works. I want to uplift my friends and family, not bring them down. Most of all, I want to be a calm, quiet, consistent, and patient wife and mother. I want my husband and children to be at peace in my presence. I want to bring happiness and joy to those around me, especially my family. I know I cannot do this without God's guidance, so my scripture references will be along these lines for the next few days.

So goals for the upcoming week:
-seek God's wisdom and guidance to be a better wife and mother
-eat fresh fruit or vegetables every day
-go for a walk at least once this week (hey...I have to start somewhere)
-speak softly and calmly at all times and remember that I love being a Mom!

Wednesday, May 13, 2009



I wasn't going to blog tonight, but thought it might help my restlessness. Not much on the "diet" front (I hate to use that word, but it's all I could think of for the moment). I have been spiritually restless tonight though. I have a lot on my mind and can't seem to put it aside to get some rest. So here I am, reading my Bible and writing down my thoughts.

"Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing" James 1:3-4.

As I read this scripture, I think about the trials I have experienced, in the past and recently. I know that in every trial, there is a blessing that God has for us. I used to think that we often wouldn't see the blessing until we made it through the trial and came out on the other side. But I think the part about "let patience have her perfect work" is about recognizing the blessing while you are in the midst of the trial. I want to be an example of God's work and his blessings in that even though I experience challenges, I not only survive them, but thrive througout them.

So now I am going to bed to get some rest and take on tomorrow's challenges with a bright outlook. Love & Prayers....

Monday, May 11, 2009



I want to give a little insight into one of the many reasons I started this blog. About 3 years ago, I was considering having gastric bypass surgery. I felt if I could just get a jump-start on losing the weight, that I could keep it off. I consulted with my doctor and she referred me to a seminar run by a group of bariatric surgeons. My husband and I went to the seminar and when it was over I was ready to go, I was going to have the surgery and be done with this weight problem forever! One piece of information from that seminar has stuck in my memory for over 3 years....they said that less than 1% of people who lose weight by diet and exercise are successful in keeping it off long term. I thought, well why bother to try the traditional method when you are doomed to fail anyways?

Then, I found out my insurance did not cover weight loss surgery, or any weight loss intervention for that matter. My hopes of ever losing weight were dashed forever. I was destined to be one of the 99% that would ride the weight loss/gain roller-coaster for the rest of my life. I certainly did not have $38k to pay privately for the surgery (although I considered mortgaging my house for the money).

That was the beginning of my "giving up". Anytime I would be encouraged to eat healthier, join a gym, exercise more, etc., a little voice in my head would say "why bother, 1% is pretty long odds". Now I know that voice was Satan. Keeping me from even trying to succeed and certainly keeping me from taking my request to the One who ALWAYS succeeds!

But now I have come to a decision. I can be the 1%, and even if I do ride the roller-coaster for a while, at least I will be trying! I may not have long-term success (20 years or more, by the way, is what the statistic considered long term), but I may not live 20 more years, so then what would that matter?

Don't let statistics box you in, they are often skewed to serve the purpose of the person or organization reporting them. God doesn't operate on statistics, and neither should we.

So here I am, I have done some things right this past weekend and some things wrong. I haven't had any fast food (save the 1 salad on Saturday), I have not had more than 1 diet soda per day, but I have not drunk enough water and I had a brownie tonight (which I don't necessarily think is a failure...but more on that some other time). I have not exercised formally, but I did clean the house from top to bottom and chase 3 kids around all weekend, which should count for something. Most importantly, I am communicating with God and reading His word and finding strength in that. And that may be the most important acheivement of all.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

God is not a guest


"This then is the message which we have heard of him and declare unto you, that God is a light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not walk in the truth: but if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us." 1 John 1:5-9

I was reading this last night and it made me think of something a dear friend told me recently....God does not want to be a guest in our lives, he wants to take up permanent residence. He doesn't just want to see the "company-ready" rooms, he wants to see the dark, dirty corners, the unfolded laundry, the hall closet jammed with too many toys, sports equipment, etc.

Sometimes, okay often, I don't let God into those areas of my life that aren't "company ready". I am definitely guilty of that with my health and weight. I would make excuses why I didn't need God to help with that part of my life. I told myself it was more important to be comfortable with who I was (weight and all) than to try to fit some mold society made for me. That is true to a point, but now it has become an excuse. God wants me to love myself for me...just the way I am, but accepting who I am has brought to light that I need to change my lifestyle to be in line with God's plan for me as well. I am mistreating His creation and that is definitely not in line with His plan.

So, I did well yesterday. Didn't get to take that walk (we had a severe thunderstorm, thought it best not to get struck by lightening), but I think I burned some pretty good calories cleaning the baseboards! I ate well, not perfect, but better.

Today is a new day and a new opportunity!

Saturday, May 9, 2009


Okay...so today has been challenging. Started off good...I was up early, cleaned the kitchen, steamed the floors, folded the laundry, even cleaned the baseboards and chair rails. Keeping my "resolutions" is harder than I thought. I did pretty good for breakfast, had 2 small (silver dollar) pancakes (homemade) with just a tiny bit of syrup and some fresh strawberries for breakfast. We were out at lunchtime with 4 kids (ours plus Logan's friend, Adam) which necessitated lunch at a fast food restaurant. I did okay, with a chicken taco salad from Taco Bell with no dressing and I didn't eat the shell. I REALLY wanted a cheeseburger, though......ugh!

The plan is to have grilled chicken for dinner tonight and take a walk when it cools off some.....stay tuned!

Friday, May 8, 2009

Start at the beginning...


Now is the time for change. I could start tomorrow, or Monday, or next week....but why not NOW. Let me start by saying that I started this blog for support and accountability and to maybe help someone else who feels the way I do. I haven't always been overweight, it started in high school and has progressed over the years. Until recently, it has been simply an inconvenience. Something that impacted my self-confidence, made it harder to buy clothes I liked, embarrassed me. Now it is a problem. It is effecting my health, and worse, my faith in God.

I believe that God can do anything...and I can do anything with God (I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phillippians 4:13). But somehow, I have never thought to ask for help in losing weight. Well..that's not entirely true, I never believed He could help me with this, or believed I deserved His help. My failure to have faith in God is far more disappointing than my failure to live a healthy life.

But yesterday I had an appointment with my doctor and came to the harsh realization that my weight is no longer just inconvenient. It could easily kill me, and my children deserve to grow up with a mother...and a healthy one at that. I am setting a bad example for them and they deserve to live long healthy lives, and I want to teach them how. But first, I need to learn myself.

So here it goes. My journey, one day at a time, one change at a time. I don't know if I will post numbers frequently as this is more about changing attitudes and lifestyle. But most importantly it is a journey in faith, faith that God can work with me and in me and change me for the better.

So today I start my journey. Here are the stats....
Starting weight 328 (yes, that is my actual weight...I feel I should be brutally honest)

Goals for this week (5/8-5/15/09):
-limit soda intake to 1 diet soda per day
-drink at least 8 glasses of water per day
-walk at least 3 days per week
-read my devotional/Bible every day
-eliminate fast food completely

Pray for me........