So today was day 3 of school closed due to weather and me trying to work from home. Let's just say calling it chaotic would be an understatement! Fortunately, Rick (super-husband & dad that he is), was brave enough to take all 3 of our kids, plus one of Logan's friends, to Pump-it-Up to bounce this afternoon. This had 2 fabulous benefits for me...quiet time to work and super-tired kids that went to bed early!
So...back to my purpose in writing tonight. I have felt myself moving farther and farther from God's path these last couple of weeks. I feel entirely scattered and unable to focus on anything. So tonight, as I was laying in bed with both Logan and Emma snoring next to me, I prayed. I prayed for God's forgiveness and grace. I prayed that He would direct me back onto the path He has laid out for me and settle my fragmented thoughts and feelings. I also committed myself...to making time for Him daily, and making it my #1 priority. I committed to making my husband my #2 priority as well.
Lately, Rick and I have been...well, not so very pleasant to one another. We haven't really fought or argued, but there has been an underlying tension in our home...probably as a result of lack of sleep, his new work schedule, and a little cabin fever to top it all off. As I was praying tonight, I realized that I have not been making Rick my #2 priority. Namely because I have not been making God my #1 priority. It is amazing how when one part of my life gets out of "whack", the rest of my life soon follows suit.
I have been feeling sad and lonely and hurt by Rick's actions...he tends to be a bit like a bear woken up early from hibernation when he is overtired. And I probably have a right to feel that way...to some extent. But I realized tonight that I am letting his actions determine my actions and response. I am reacting in a negative manner to his negative behavior, which makes for a very negative vibe in our house!
So I am asking for God's grace and committing to show a little grace of my own. I desire a stronger, more affectionate, and more loving relationship with my husband...and I am going to do everything in my power to make that happen. Hopefully, with positive reactions and plenty of prayer, I can change the vibe of our home.
Love & Prayers....