Blown Away

December 13, 2009

We had a Christmas Party at our home last night. Once everyone left and the children were in bed, Rick and I laid in bed (completely exhausted!) and talked for over an hour about the wonderful blessings God has bestowed upon us this past year.

It was just shy of 1 year ago that we moved to Greensboro, NC. We didn't know many people, and although we had a church to attend, we did not have a church "home". I have never had a lot of close friends, in fact, in the past 7 years, I have had only 1 girlfriend that I would consider a close friend...and she is more like a sister. Rick and I have often talked about how nice it would be for us to have friends where we were as comfortable one-on-one as when we did things as couples.

So here is my point....finally, I was blown away last night when I realized how God has blessed us so very much in the past year. We have wonderful friends and neighbors to share our holiday with this year and we have a new church home where we feel as though we have always been there (or at least should have been!). Our family has grown closer to God and closer to one another. In a situation wrought with challenges (financial, health, and the emotional stress of moving), God has not only seen us through the storm, but blessed us beyond our wildest imagination.

I am again drawn to the verses in Ephesians (3:20-21) "Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever Amen."

How often do we think we know what we need (or want), and we ask for what we need (or want). But God knows what we need, better than we know ourselves. Not only does He provide for our needs, but the truth is that even when He does not give us what we ask for, He blesses us. How often do we ask for something and we don't get that specific thing, but we get something better along with the realization that we did not need what we asked for to begin with! Again....BLOWN AWAY!

I am so thankful for my God who loves me and my husband and children and all of the many blessings in my life. But I am also grateful for those "unanswered prayers"...which weren't really unanswered at all!

God bless you all!

Back on Track

12/7/09

After 4 days off the Wii Fit, I am back on track. Walked 1.3 miles this morning in 10 minutes burning 130 calories....whoo hoo! It's only 10 am so my plan is to do this again 2 more times today. My goal is to be exercising 50 minutes per day 5 days per week, but this week I am shooting for 3o minutes per day, 3 days per week.

I have also started on another project. I am committing myself to spend time alone with God each day. Studying His word and talking to him in prayer. I am keeping a journal (sorry readers...most of these thoughts are between me and the Lord). I have started in Matthew chapter 5 with the Beatitudes. They are a wonderful guideline on the characteristics of a Christian and what God expects of us as His children. Today I was reading in Matthew 5:13-16 about being the "salt of the earth" and a "light to the world". What wonderful guidance from our Lord on our duties as His children here on earth.

Many blessings, more updates to come. Thank you for all the prayers!

Progress

December 2, 2009

So, recently I have taken on a more serious attitude about my health. My parents bought us a Wii Fit for an early Christmas present and it is AWESOME! I have worked out every day for the last 3 days....not a lot, but at least a little each day. I have also been tracking my diet on a great website, www.fitday.com. It is a completely free fitness tracking site. So my goal is to lose 2.5 lbs every 2 weeks. I started on 11/29/09 and will weigh in every 2 weeks...and will keep everyone posted on my progress, good or bad!

I have been reading in the Old Testament some this week. Isaiah 41:13 says "For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee." What an encouraging verse. This Christmas it means so much to me to know that God is with me, holding my hand and helping me. With Rick unemployed most of the year and now only working part time, the Christmas budget is a bit lean this year. But God is using this time to remind our family of the true meaning of Christmas. We have been focusing on His blessings and His gift of Baby Jesus this year, rather than toys and gifts and all of the commercial trappings of the holidays. He has given us this trial to teach us a lesson and in that lesson, the trial becomes insignificant!

I know that my God will provide for my family this Christmas and every day thereafter. He is right there, holding my hand and encouraging me that everything will work out to the glory of God!

Love & Prayers and Happy Holidays!

A Step in the Right Direction

11/20/09

So I just got back from a walk. The first I have taken in a LONG time....I don't care to mention how long. It felt great! It's a beautiful autumn day here in North Carolina. The sun is shining, the smell of burning leaves is in the air and it is not too cold and not too warm, just right for a walk. I didn't go far, but I surpassed the goal I set for myself. My new goal is to be active every day. Take a walk, clean the house, work in the yard, just do something that gets me up and moving.

My friend Gary posted on FB today about procrastination. "Often a huge goal seems impossible to attain. We stand, immobilized, as we stare at it. However, a mighty mountain can be moved one shovel at a time." Today, I moved my first shovel-full of my mountain.

Thanks for all the support and love. Keep praying for me!

Thanksgiving

November 14, 2009

So, Halloween is over...and suddenly, all the stores have their Christmas displays in full array. Trees, lights, wreaths, inflatable snowmen, and so much more abound. I must admit, I have started listening to Christmas music (yes, already) and switched out my "harvest" scented candles for "evergreen" and "mulberry" scents. I am even considering putting out a few Christmas decorations this weekend.

It seems, that in the midst of recovering from the sugar overload of Halloween and preparing for Christmas, we overlook Thanksgiving. I often feel that Thanksgiving is the "warm-up" for Christmas. We get together, eat, watch some football, complain we are full, take a nap, and then eat some more. But what about the true meaning of Thanksgiving? Christians everywhere fight to "keep the 'Christ' in Christmas". We spend time and effort trying to teach our children that Christmas is not all Santa Claus and presents, that we are to be celebrating the birth of our Savior. But how often to we reflect on the meaning of Thanksgiving?

Most of us will come together with family and friends and I am sure many prayers of thanks will be said, at least to bless the food, on Thanksgiving day. Children will make turkeys and pilgrim hats out of construction paper, but do we consider our blessings this Thanksgiving season?

Philippians 4:6 says "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God." What a beautiful promise. Perhaps, the Pilgrims were thinking of this very scripture hundreds of years ago when they first gathered together with the Indians to celebrate. They had plenty to be anxious about...a new land, disease, a cold winter ahead, and much more. They had sacrificed much to be able to worship in a manner they felt would please God. And yet, in this anxious and terrifying time, they took a moment to thank God for His blessings.

So here we sit this holiday season, worried about money, gifts, time off from work, health, and so on, and we seem to forget this promise of God. The promise of answered prayer. The promise of peace. The next verse in Philippians (4:7) goes on to say "and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." What a wonderful gift! Anything you want or need, just go to God (with thanksgiving) and He will give you peace.

So this Thanksgiving season I pray that each of you will take the time to "make your requests be known unto God" and thank Him, not just on Thanksgiving Day, but every day, for the many blessings he bestows on us.

God bless and Happy Thanksgiving!

Choices

November 11, 1009

So, I had 1 good day this week and 1 bad day...at least with respect to my goal of eating healthier.

Monday I did GREAT, granola bar for breakfast, only 1 diet soda, drank lots of water. I even took my lunch and snacks to work, apple, string cheese and a sandwich. Ate a healthy,
homemade dinner with my family cooked by my wonderful mother-in-law.

Today...not so great. Chicken biscuit for breakfast, then a Whopper for lunch. Ugh. Dinner was good, roast beef, cabbage (okay, fried that in bacon fat), and corn. But I have GOT to get this Halloween candy out of my house! I just a 2 Snickers and a 3-Musketeers.

So tomorrow is another day, right. Especially since I have a doctor's appointment....my first since we moved to NC almost a year ago. So I am determined to lay it all out on the table with this new doctor and see if there is anything he can do to help me with my goal of getting healthy. All I can do is take it day-by-day....maybe even bite-by-bite and pray that God gives me the ability and will-power to make healthy choices.

Next goal....exercise. hmmmmmm.....

Submission

November 8, 2009

Submission is not a word most like to apply to themselves. Society has taught us to be independent, submit to no one. But God would have us do the opposite. Submission is a common theme throughout the Bible, especially when reference is made to familial relationships.

Paul instructs in Ephesians 5:22 "Wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord" (any feminists out there may want to stop reading now!). Peter takes it one step further and admonishes "Wives, likewise be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives" (1 Peter 3:1). So obedience and submission to our husbands is not only for those equally yoked, but can be a ministry of women whose husbands have not accepted Christ. What a blessing from God, that we, as wives and mothers, can be a shining example of His love so that our husbands and children will come to know Him as well.

Don't get me wrong, I don't always like this whole "submission" thing! It is hard sometimes, especially when I know I am right! But God doesn't say "submit sometimes" or "submit when your husband is right and honorable and easy to get along with". He tasks us with submitting ALL the time, in ALL areas of our marriage.

This submissive relationship between a husband and wife is reflective of the relationship between Christ and His people. As Christians, we are called to be submissive, servants unto God and one another. By having a servant's heart towards one another, both husband and wife, we can teach our children to have that same attitude towards Christ and one another.

We often teach children the "Golden Rule", but how often do we live it? We desire and expect our children to put others first, but how often do we put others first? Submission is not a "sometimes" thing, namely because our children are watching us ALL THE TIME! They see everything we do and they learn from us...so if we are only submissive when it suits our purpose, they will be also. When we only put others before ourselves when it is convenient or makes us look good, they will also.

I am certainly challenged with submission and desire to have a servant's heart in all that I say and do. I pray that God continues to work with me in this aspect so that I am a good example to my children.

Love & Prayers!

Split Personalities

November 4, 2009

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God." Romans 12:2

I sometimes feel like I have a split personality...or maybe several personalities. There is Meridath the "corporate consultant", Meridath the "wife & mother", and a few more I am sure. I came to this realization about a year ago. I noticed that I would dress and prepare differently depending upon what I was doing and who I would be with. Now...I know, everyone dresses differently based on what they are doing, but sometimes you have to look at the motivation behind how you dress and what you wear. Also, how you act and speak when you are in one situation versus another. What is the motivation behind your dress, speech, and actions?

I have been challenged this year to not be a different person at work than I am at church or home....and boy is that a challenge! It is difficult to be "in" this world, but not "of" it. But that is exactly what God challenges us to do, and expects us to do. I have to think of who I really want to be and who I want people to see...if I am embarrassed or ashamed of how I am behaving in a certain situation, then I try to decide, am I the problem, or is the situation the problem? Sometimes I have found that I act or dress a certain way because I don't think the people I am with will accept the "real" me...so that is my problem. But sometimes, God shows me that if the people I am with would not like how I dress or act when I am at home or church, then maybe I should not be spending so much time with them.

The truth of the matter is that I have spent my entire life trying to fit in...and frequently failing. It has taken me 31 years to realize that the only one I need concern myself with pleasing is God, and if I behave and dress in a manner pleasing to Him, the rest will follow. That doesn't mean that I will always "fit in", I think God sometimes gives us that feeling of social discomfort as a warning. But I will always have a place in His kingdom, and that is the ONLY thing that matters.

Love, prayers & blessings to all!

Proverbs 31

October 31, 2009

I have been studying the "virtuous woman" passage in Proverbs (Proverbs 31: 10-31) and of course, find much room for improvement in my life. What a beautiful gift from God, though...a specific outline of how to be a godly and virtuous wife and mother.

Recently I have noticed I am not as close to God as I should, and want, to be. I have drifted, ever so slightly, back to the ways of the world. I have become a master of excuses....I am too tired to read, we are running too late in the morning for morning devotional, we are too busy at night for evening devotional. But this distance has taken a toll on me and my family. We are angered more easily, less tolerant and compassionate towards one another, and much more selfish.

Proverbs 31 does not allow for these excuses..."She seeks wool and flax and willingly works with her hands. She is like the merchant ships, she brings her food from afar. She also rises while it is yet night, and provides food for her household, and a portion for her maidservants." (Proverbs 31:13-15. A godly woman works hard for her family to provide food and clothing, she is up before everyone else preparing breakfast and readying herself and her household for the day. It does not sound like a morning at my house right now! "Honey...it's 6:45! Hurry up, get the kids dressed, grab a granola bar shove them in the car and get out the door by 7:15!" This also usually includes at least 1 argument from each child..."I don't want to wear that, I don't want a granola bar, I am tired, I don't want to get up and go to school, etc." How easily this can be avoided if we prepare in advance!

Proverbs 31:25-27 says "Strength and honor are her clothing; she shall rejoice in time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness. She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness." To me, there is an expectation of gentle kindness in a woman. Strong and honorable, yet wise and kind. Not harsh and angry, nor easily frustrated. I think back to when I was a child and whenever I needed a soft, kind word I looked to the women in my live (my mother and grandmother). It is my duty as a wife and mother to be the peacemaker, the quiet and gentle voice of reason in a sea of chaos that we seem to be drowning in daily with school, work, homework, meetings, and other worldly obligations.

Ultimately, I strive to live up to these standards set forth by God for in the last 2 verses is His promise "Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Giver her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates." Proverbs 31:30-31. What a wonderful promise and blessing.

I have far to go and fall far short of a "virtuous woman" according to God, but I have a God who loves me and makes up for my imperfections with His perfect grace.

Back to Square One

10/27/09

Well...I started this blog because I wanted to have someone or something to hold me accountable to my goal of starting a healthier lifestyle. I have talked my way out of, around, over and under that purpose, but not really done a good job of sticking to it.

This weekend, my husband and I attended the funeral of a dear friend's mother. As I watched the slide show of pictures at the memorial service, it struck me how many of those pictures, especially the ones with her granddaughter who is the same age as my oldest, were taken in the hospital. Many of her medical problems were due to an unhealthy lifestyle and were, for the most part, preventable or at least controllable.

So here I go again, back to square one. I am trusting God to go exceedingly, abundantly beyond all I can ask or think and help me to GET HEALTHY! I cannot do it on my own. I know that. It will not be easy, but most things worth having or doing are not easy. There will be challenges, obstacles, and frustrations. The devil will take this as an open invitation to attack me and my goals. But God is able.

I believe that God wants us all to be good stewards of the blessings He gives us...money, family, health, etc. I have not been a good steward of my health and body, but it is not too late. It is never too late. God wants to be in ALL parts of my life, even this one!

I pray that God will bless my goal to get healthy, that He will keep me strong and help me make wise decisions about my health. I pray that my journey, whether a success or failure or somewhere in between, will help or inspire someone who may need it.

God bless...stay tuned!

Truth

"And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free"...John 8:32

Today I received a call from my boss that upset me a lot. I won't get into the details, but the general tone was that "so and so thinks you are too hard on this person and wants you to be more diplomatic and encouraging, rather than negative and critical". I took this very hard because I have often been labeled as not a "people person". I have prayed about this frequently and intensely over the past few years, but even more so over that past few months and I feel that God has truly changed my spirit from being judgmental and angry (mostly out of fear of being hurt) to quiet and accepting. I know He has not finished, not even close, but I certainly feel that I have changed significantly in the past year. So to hear today that I have offended more than one person I work with and have come across as critical and judgmental, was a serious blow to my self-esteem.

So God sent me our daily devotional with our children and reminded me that it matters not what the world says of me, but what God knows about me. And I committed that I would hand this over to Him to allow him to continue his work in me.

1 John 3:1 says "Behold what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called sons of God; therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew Him not." I think God is reminding us that we should not concern ourselves with the standards of the world, but only with His standards. I am a child of God, chosen by Him to receive His gift of grace. I do not doubt His ability to create in me a new person, a compassionate, caring, kind and generous spirit.

So tonight I taught my children and God taught me....do not concern yourself with what others may say or think, but concern yourself with what God thinks. Remember that he made you just the way you are for a specific purpose, His purpose, and you are perfected in Him.

Grace

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him, should not perish, but have everlasting life"...John 3:16

What blessed familiar words.

I was thinking today of how to explain God's gift of salvation to my children. Logan has started thanking Jesus for dying for our sins during prayer time...and that is such a beautiful blessing. But I wonder how much he understands the magnitude of that gift. I am...well, let's just say "older" than Logan...and I still have a hard time comprehending the magnitude of what God did for me when He sent His Son....His one and only Son...to this earth to die a horrible and wretched death on the cross, just so that I could have a home in Heaven.

So here is what I thought of...imagine you are taken hostage by a foreign power, and your captors go to the President of the United States of America, arguably the most powerful person on the planet, and say "We will release this person (you) if you (the President) will sacrifice your life for them." I don't think anyone reading this has any question that it would be an unlikely trade.

But Jesus....exponentially more great and powerful than any man, laid down His life for me. And if I was the ONLY person in all time on all the earth to believe and accept His gift of grace, He would still die for me. How amazing!

I think sometimes we forget, or underplay, or have a hard time comprehending that Jesus didn't die for the group of people labeled "Christians", He did not sacrifice himself on the cross for "the Church"; He died for me. Just me. And you. Just you. And all that He asks in return is your faith in Him. A personal, individual, daily walk with Christ. Not on Sunday, not in church, not at Wednesday night Bible study, but in the car on the way to work, in the board meeting, in the kitchen cooking lunch for the kids, every minute of every day.

I recently read about a lake in Minnesota that is only warm for about 8 weeks in the summer. It is a glacier-fed lake and even at its warmest, only about the top 10 inches are really comfortably warm for swimming. I don't want to be like that lake, I want to be warm to the deepest depths of my being. I want to be enveloped in the heat of the Son, and warmed to the core, every day of my life.

My goal this week is to walk every day with God. Take a few minutes out of each day to spend some personal, close, individual time with Him.

Love and Prayers....

Faith

It has been a long time since I have posted. I was not sure for a while what I should say, if anything. But tonight, God has led me here to this computer and this post.



It is quiet in my house. I am restless, but not for the reasons I usually can't sleep. Tonight I feel that God has something for me to say...so here I am.

I have been reading a lot of God's word lately...drinking it in, studying it, praying it. I have been drawn to Paul's letters, specifically Ephesians. There are 2 verses that I keep coming back to over and over. They hold such promise and reassurance....

The first is Ephesians 2:8-9..."For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God. Not of works, lest any man should boast."
What a blessed promise He gives us in these verses. Paul makes it clear that there is NOTHING we can do to deserve God's love and an eternal home in heaven, but God gives it to us....it is his GIFT of grace through faith.

We (my family and I) have had a challenging year. The move to North Carolina has been both difficult and rewarding. God has truly blessed us in many ways and has definitely changed our hearts. It's amazing how He can take something that you think is a great idea...YOUR great idea...and turn it into such a blessing, but for none of the reasons you thought it would be. And then you realize, it was always HIS great idea.

Onto my next verse...which is quickly becoming my favorite of all time. "Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us. Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen."...Ephesians 3:20-21.

Wow! EXCEEDINGLY ABUNDANTLY....that's big stuff! Above all that we ask OR THINK...can you imagine that God cannot only give us what we ask for in prayer, but even those things that we don't ask for. Maybe we are afraid to ask, or we think they are too small, or too big. But if we just THINK it, He can DO it...amazing. But there is more...a catch, if you will, "according to the power that worketh in us." There's that "faith" thing again...God is able, but we have to truly believe with all of our heart and all of our soul that He is able.

So does this mean that all we have to do is ask and believe that He can and He will? Well....there is a little thing called "sovreignty"...God is able, but is not always willing. Sometime what we ask for is not in His plan, and may even work against His plan. That's where the faith comes in, we have to believe that He can, but be prepared that He won't, and even when He doesn't, we still believe that He can!

I don't know if this will help anyone, but I felt led by God to share my thoughts and feelings on these verses with you.

Love & Prayers...

Challenges

7/21/09

I have recently faced a series of challenges in my life. I will not get specific as I would rather some of the details remain private, but I will share my story of how I fell and was raised up again by a most loving and generous God.

Lately I have felt a bit like Peter in the storm when he failed to trust in God's saving grace and took his eyes off of Jesus for just a moment and started to sink. I was sinking, I looked away, and I doubted. And God loved me anyways. I was the prodigal, knocking at His door for the hundreth, maybe thousandth time. Begging forgiveness, begging for just a place with the swine, and He welcomed me home with open arms and wrapped me in his warm and loving embrace.

It is hard, in these times of economic hardship and negative news, to see God's work in our world. But He is there, watching, waiting for us to call out to Him, to remember that we need His guidance and love in our lives.

So, while I am still in the midst of trials and tribulations, I have been renewed by His love for me. I have been reminded that He is there and can save us no matter how bad things are, we just have to ask and listen. The truth is, God ALWAYS answers prayer, but you have to stop asking long enough to hear the response.

God Bless!

Rough Waters

7/11/09

It has been a rough week. We are still struggling financially...Rick is losing work because of lack of rain rather than picking up new work. The hot water heater in our house burst on Tuesday night so we woke up Wednesday morning to a flood in our downstairs. Fortunately, none of our personal possessions were damaged and our landlord will be taking care of all of the repairs. It will be nice to have new floors, but in the meantime we are living in a construction zone which is challenging with 3 children. I feel like I took my eyes off of God for just a moment and doubt and fear crept in imperceptibly and suddenly I am sinking in the waves of a very rough sea.

But I know that my God will not fail me. It is easy to let the fear and doubt take control, but then that would be letting something other than God control my life, and that is not what I want. So we will no longer live with the regrets from the past, but we will learn from our mistakes and press onward to the goal, remembering that our treasure is not here on earth, but an eternal home in Heaven.

"But lay up for yourselves treasures in Heaven,where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt and where thieves do not break through or steal; for where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." Matthew 6:20-21

Feeling Good

7/3/09

Okay...so I am feeling super today. I finally allowed myself a little pampering and oh how I have missed it. I went to the salon today...yes, I finally took time to find one here in Greensboro...had my hair washed and cut and styled and a fabulous pedicure. There is definitely something to be said for caring for the outside to feel good on the inside.

On top of that, I took the day off of work and spent a wonderful morning with Mackenzie. We played on the floor, we sang songs, and played tickle monster and made wonderful funny faces at each other. Then I spent the evening with Emma and Mackenzie while the boys went to a movie. It was a girly bonding day and it was wonderful!

Of course, now it is the witching hour in our house when 4-year olds get nasty and babies get tired. Well, I guess that's my cue to go and intervene and possibly start bedtime!

So lesson for today....a little pampering and "exterior" care can go a long way towards feeling happy and healthy.

New Road

6/30/09

So today I think I will turn my "blogging" down a new road. I will continue to include information about my journey to wellness, both physical and spiritual, but I feel that since that is just one part of my very full life, I should expand my content.

Today was rough. I am always challenged when I am working at my building in Burlington. Does everyone have that? A project, task, or duty at work that just sucks the life out of you? But I am coming off a great weekend. We went home to Virginia Beach and spent the weekend just hanging around with my BFF Liz and her kids. The kids were super, we had no schedule, and we had an awesome time. It was one of those weekends that you wish would never end.

I did not look forward to coming home or going back to work. I knew it would be a tough, although short, week. I am so glad we have a holiday weekend coming up. So ready for that! I am hoping to find something fun for the kids to do this weekend and definitely would love to see some fireworks (besides the ones that occur daily at bedtime!).

I am home alone tonight with the kids, Rick is working (yay!). I am so jealous of him sometimes, being home with the kids 3 days a week. I know it is hard for him because he wants full time work, but I miss the kids so much when I am gone. I feel like I miss so much.

Emma is turning into quite the little lady....she has a cell phone (fake, of course) and purse. She talks for hours every day to Liz and Renee and Danielle and Austin on her cell phone, it is too cute.

Logan lost another tooth this week and another is really wiggly...he is growing up way too fast.

Mackenzie is as cute as ever and has more words...she has a lot to say (although most of it sounds like Chinese).

Well...I will be enjoying my evening with my kids. Just one last thought....life is not about having what you want, but wanting what you have.

Slacking

6/25/09

Wow! I have really neglected my blog and myself in the last month. I have fallen off the proverbial wagon and just hibernated. But I am back now with a new goal. We have a family vacation to Orlando, FL planned in November and I want to be healthy and happy and able to play with my kids by then! So...on with the eating fresh food and walking at least 3 times a week (for starters). And back to reading my Bible and walking daily with God, because I slacked on that too!

Not much time to write, have to go get the girls from daycare and plan our evening, but I will be posting more!

New Goals

5/19/09

Well, it's been a few days since I have written. I pretty much met my goals last week, save the exercise goal. I did not eat fast food, had less than 1 diet soda per day, definitely drank plenty of water. I have also read my Bible at least once a day if not more and have done a devotional at least every other day.

So, time for new goals. This week I am focusing on being a more worthy woman of God. I want to be a shining example of His works. I want to uplift my friends and family, not bring them down. Most of all, I want to be a calm, quiet, consistent, and patient wife and mother. I want my husband and children to be at peace in my presence. I want to bring happiness and joy to those around me, especially my family. I know I cannot do this without God's guidance, so my scripture references will be along these lines for the next few days.

So goals for the upcoming week:
-seek God's wisdom and guidance to be a better wife and mother
-eat fresh fruit or vegetables every day
-go for a walk at least once this week (hey...I have to start somewhere)
-speak softly and calmly at all times and remember that I love being a Mom!

Restless

5/13/09

I wasn't going to blog tonight, but thought it might help my restlessness. Not much on the "diet" front (I hate to use that word, but it's all I could think of for the moment). I have been spiritually restless tonight though. I have a lot on my mind and can't seem to put it aside to get some rest. So here I am, reading my Bible and writing down my thoughts.

"Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing" James 1:3-4.

As I read this scripture, I think about the trials I have experienced, in the past and recently. I know that in every trial, there is a blessing that God has for us. I used to think that we often wouldn't see the blessing until we made it through the trial and came out on the other side. But I think the part about "let patience have her perfect work" is about recognizing the blessing while you are in the midst of the trial. I want to be an example of God's work and his blessings in that even though I experience challenges, I not only survive them, but thrive througout them.

So now I am going to bed to get some rest and take on tomorrow's challenges with a bright outlook. Love & Prayers....

Statistics

5/11/09

I want to give a little insight into one of the many reasons I started this blog. About 3 years ago, I was considering having gastric bypass surgery. I felt if I could just get a jump-start on losing the weight, that I could keep it off. I consulted with my doctor and she referred me to a seminar run by a group of bariatric surgeons. My husband and I went to the seminar and when it was over I was ready to go, I was going to have the surgery and be done with this weight problem forever! One piece of information from that seminar has stuck in my memory for over 3 years....they said that less than 1% of people who lose weight by diet and exercise are successful in keeping it off long term. I thought, well why bother to try the traditional method when you are doomed to fail anyways?

Then, I found out my insurance did not cover weight loss surgery, or any weight loss intervention for that matter. My hopes of ever losing weight were dashed forever. I was destined to be one of the 99% that would ride the weight loss/gain roller-coaster for the rest of my life. I certainly did not have $38k to pay privately for the surgery (although I considered mortgaging my house for the money).

That was the beginning of my "giving up". Anytime I would be encouraged to eat healthier, join a gym, exercise more, etc., a little voice in my head would say "why bother, 1% is pretty long odds". Now I know that voice was Satan. Keeping me from even trying to succeed and certainly keeping me from taking my request to the One who ALWAYS succeeds!

But now I have come to a decision. I can be the 1%, and even if I do ride the roller-coaster for a while, at least I will be trying! I may not have long-term success (20 years or more, by the way, is what the statistic considered long term), but I may not live 20 more years, so then what would that matter?

Don't let statistics box you in, they are often skewed to serve the purpose of the person or organization reporting them. God doesn't operate on statistics, and neither should we.

So here I am, I have done some things right this past weekend and some things wrong. I haven't had any fast food (save the 1 salad on Saturday), I have not had more than 1 diet soda per day, but I have not drunk enough water and I had a brownie tonight (which I don't necessarily think is a failure...but more on that some other time). I have not exercised formally, but I did clean the house from top to bottom and chase 3 kids around all weekend, which should count for something. Most importantly, I am communicating with God and reading His word and finding strength in that. And that may be the most important acheivement of all.

God is not a guest

5/10/09

"This then is the message which we have heard of him and declare unto you, that God is a light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not walk in the truth: but if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us." 1 John 1:5-9

I was reading this last night and it made me think of something a dear friend told me recently....God does not want to be a guest in our lives, he wants to take up permanent residence. He doesn't just want to see the "company-ready" rooms, he wants to see the dark, dirty corners, the unfolded laundry, the hall closet jammed with too many toys, sports equipment, etc.

Sometimes, okay often, I don't let God into those areas of my life that aren't "company ready". I am definitely guilty of that with my health and weight. I would make excuses why I didn't need God to help with that part of my life. I told myself it was more important to be comfortable with who I was (weight and all) than to try to fit some mold society made for me. That is true to a point, but now it has become an excuse. God wants me to love myself for me...just the way I am, but accepting who I am has brought to light that I need to change my lifestyle to be in line with God's plan for me as well. I am mistreating His creation and that is definitely not in line with His plan.

So, I did well yesterday. Didn't get to take that walk (we had a severe thunderstorm, thought it best not to get struck by lightening), but I think I burned some pretty good calories cleaning the baseboards! I ate well, not perfect, but better.

Today is a new day and a new opportunity!

Challenges

5/9/09
Okay...so today has been challenging. Started off good...I was up early, cleaned the kitchen, steamed the floors, folded the laundry, even cleaned the baseboards and chair rails. Keeping my "resolutions" is harder than I thought. I did pretty good for breakfast, had 2 small (silver dollar) pancakes (homemade) with just a tiny bit of syrup and some fresh strawberries for breakfast. We were out at lunchtime with 4 kids (ours plus Logan's friend, Adam) which necessitated lunch at a fast food restaurant. I did okay, with a chicken taco salad from Taco Bell with no dressing and I didn't eat the shell. I REALLY wanted a cheeseburger, though......ugh!

The plan is to have grilled chicken for dinner tonight and take a walk when it cools off some.....stay tuned!

Start at the beginning...

5/8/09

Now is the time for change. I could start tomorrow, or Monday, or next week....but why not NOW. Let me start by saying that I started this blog for support and accountability and to maybe help someone else who feels the way I do. I haven't always been overweight, it started in high school and has progressed over the years. Until recently, it has been simply an inconvenience. Something that impacted my self-confidence, made it harder to buy clothes I liked, embarrassed me. Now it is a problem. It is effecting my health, and worse, my faith in God.

I believe that God can do anything...and I can do anything with God (I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phillippians 4:13). But somehow, I have never thought to ask for help in losing weight. Well..that's not entirely true, I never believed He could help me with this, or believed I deserved His help. My failure to have faith in God is far more disappointing than my failure to live a healthy life.

But yesterday I had an appointment with my doctor and came to the harsh realization that my weight is no longer just inconvenient. It could easily kill me, and my children deserve to grow up with a mother...and a healthy one at that. I am setting a bad example for them and they deserve to live long healthy lives, and I want to teach them how. But first, I need to learn myself.

So here it goes. My journey, one day at a time, one change at a time. I don't know if I will post numbers frequently as this is more about changing attitudes and lifestyle. But most importantly it is a journey in faith, faith that God can work with me and in me and change me for the better.

So today I start my journey. Here are the stats....
Starting weight 328 (yes, that is my actual weight...I feel I should be brutally honest)

Goals for this week (5/8-5/15/09):
-limit soda intake to 1 diet soda per day
-drink at least 8 glasses of water per day
-walk at least 3 days per week
-read my devotional/Bible every day
-eliminate fast food completely

Pray for me........